While there are many advantages and reasons to homeschool, the fact is not everyone can or should homeschool. For some families, it is not a good fit for the child, the parents, or both. There may be external circumstances that make homeschooling not a good choice.Â
1. You Can’t Take on the Cost of Homeschooling
The truth is that most homeschooling families forgo a second income in order to make it work. If your family is unable to live on one income, then homeschooling might not be for you. And it’s not just the financial cost, but also the personal cost. Some parents need more personal space to accomplish needed work and activities in their personal, career, or spiritual life. Because not every homeschool day goes smoothly, having a willingness to accept the cost goes a long way in hanging in there on those hard and crazy days. There is also the actual cost of buying materials and signing up for outside activities. While you can make affordable choice in many areas, there is no doubt a need to spend money on education.
2. You Don’t Have the Time Needed to Homeschool
Homeschooling takes a considerable amount of time. If you need time for your career, caring for other family members, or just love having some time each day for personal recharging, then think about how much time homeschooling really takes. When a family home educates, there is less personal and free time for every member of the family. This might be a deal-breaker for some.
3. There is a Lack of Parental Unity
If Dad and Mom are not in agreement about the desire to homeschool, then you can expect the conflict to be ongoing. There could be unrealistic expectations on the part of the disapproving spouse. And the homeschooling parent may not get the support they need to be successful. Discipline issues related to homeschooling can cause more conflict. The best homeschooling scenario has both parents positive and supportive of the family homeschooling efforts.
4. Special Services Are Needed
There is no doubt that the focused and personalized attention of homeschooling is a blessing for a child with special needs. But if your child has very specialized needs, you may not be able to meet all of those needs in your home environment. For many families, the choice to homeschool means that you will not be receiving free or supplemental therapy support, and you may have to pay for therapies yourself, which can be costly. A homeschooling family with a disabled child needs to be committed to getting the services the child needs and to spending enough time for a successful outcome.
5. There is Serious Opposition from Your Child
Some children simply don’t enjoy being educated at home. This is more common in children who have attended school and then are trying to transition to homeschooling. But even children educated at home since birth can feel unmotivated or resentful. This challenge is best addressed in honesty, patience, discussion, and lots of flexibility. Some children may just not be compatible with this educational model.
6. You’re Not a Believer in the Philosophy of Independent Education
Many people choose to homeschool because of a negative experience. Their child may have been bullied in school, they don’t like something in the public school curriculum, or they’ve had discipline problems. This approach to homeschooling is reactionary rather than a primary embracing of the philosophy of independent home education. Many homeschoolers like this end up being very successful in their home education and learn to love the positive motivators of homeschooling more than those coming from discomfort or fear. But if a parent does not love homeschooling for its own sake, it can be challenging to continue day in and day out missing out on that joy.
7. You’re Unwilling to Go Out of the Home for Activities
A parent with extreme social anxiety may struggle with the social aspect of homeschooling. It is easy for homeschoolers to isolate. It takes a motivated positive decision to connect with other homeschooling families and get out and involved. If a parent is unwilling to do this, then the children will miss out on social experiences, which is not an ideal outcome.
8. You Struggle Excessively with Patience and Perseverance
None of us are perfect and lots of us struggle with being patient. Homeschooling can be a lot of work and dealing with a cranky crew can make even the most seasoned homeschooler ready to throw in the towel. Prayer goes a long way to gaining the prudence and perseverance needed to commit to doing home education well. But if the temperament of the parent keeps getting in the way of successful homeschooling, then it could be that homeschooling is not the best choice for that family.
9. You’re Unwilling to Be Flexible
A parent who wants to only stick to a “school at home” model will run into continuous difficulties. A school model is just that–good for school. Homeschooling requires flexibility to allow for educational and social outings, new babies, extra time spent in some activities, and other family disrupters. The happiest homeschoolers are those who create an educational process and model that allows for real life.
10. You Are Homeschooling to Please Someone Else
Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, or relative, if you did not choose homeschooling for yourself, then it may not work well. Homeschooling is a lifestyle change and commitment. If you are not personally motivated, it is hard to motivate your children. You may also suffer under unrealistic expectations. Homeschooling should be a positive for not just your children, but you as well. So, carefully consider why you’re homeschooling if you are finding it challenging.
11. You Have an Inability to Deal with the Messes of Life
Pretty much every homeschooler will tell you that a perfectly clean home is not possible to maintain when homeschooling. Order and tidiness are very important and go far in making homeschooling joyful and successful. But a lot can happen in a day with a houseful of curious children, and sometimes learning needs to be hands-on. You may also be coming and going and can see chores sometimes slip. If you are not comfortable with the ebb and flow of normal, child-full life, then homeschooling may be a bit too much for your family.
12. You Have Physical or Mental Health Concerns
Our human condition means that sometimes we are facing physical or mental health challenges. If you have health issues that impact your daily life, then it is good to prayerfully consider if homeschooling is right for you. A happy and healthy mother goes a long way in managing homeschooling, for both mom and children. If your child has health concerns or is struggling with mental health issues, then you will have to decide if homeschooling is the best supportive environment for your child.
13. Your Children Are Not Thriving or Are Not Joyful
As much as we want it to work, sometimes home education just does not click for a particular child. If there are constant struggles or conflict, you may need to humbly examine if this model is best for that child. Some children long to be much more social or need some educational supports or structure that you are not able to provide, despite your best attention and effort. Each child is different, and some may simply thrive in an out-of-home school environment.
14. You Are Not Able or Willing to Learn and Follow the Laws in Your State
Assuming the full responsibility for your children’s education is an important responsibility. The laws of each state differ, and it’s important as a citizen to learn and follow those laws. If you are not willing to do so, you are putting your family at risk of enforcement of those laws. So take the time before choosing to homeschool to research and learn the laws to find out if it is a good fit for your family.
And what if, for whatever reason, you can’t homeschool, but you really want to? Consider that perhaps it is just not the season for you and your family to undertake homeschooling at this time. If you have been homeschooling and have to go in another direction, you should give yourself the time and space to grieve the loss of this desire of yours. Look for alternative ways to connect with your children and their education. And know that you can go back to homeschooling at any time if your circumstances change.
